U.S.S. Barb: The Sub That Sank a Train

Early morning July 23, 1945

1:47 A.M. The darkness was shattered by brilliant light and the roar of the explosion. The boilers of the locomotive blew, shattered pieces of the engine blowing 200 feet into the air. Behind it the cars began to accordion into each other, bursting into flame and adding to the magnificent fireworks display.

Five minutes later the saboteurs were lifted to the deck by their exuberant comrades as the Barb turned to slip back to safer waters. Moving at only two knots, it would be a while before the Barb was into waters deep enough to allow it to submerge.

Read the entire story at Veterans Today.

The Face of Sizzle
This post has been a long time in coming. For me to make a rash statement that marriage should be in a constant “state of sizzle” would be ludicrous. A statement like that would fly contrary to the ups and downs of being human. Or would it?

What about this “constant state of unrest” I referred to in my self-appointed definition of sizzle? How can sizzle be present when I’m beaten up by life?

Let me say that sizzle is more than an individual component. Sizzle is not about me; sizzle is about we. In a relationship of a man and a woman, sizzle is what is going on between them. Sizzle is the emotional connection above and outside of each person.

The face of sizzle does not look like extra-spicy salsa, at least not all the time. Sizzle, however, is that emotional connection between two that carries the couple forward TOGETHER during those tough times and during the better times it carries them into a mild, medium and spicy intimacy.

What in the world am I saying? I believe sizzle is a factor that IS CONTINUOUS in a relationship. It may not appear the same in all times but it is ever-present and recognizable. When it’s there you know it. You both know it.

When observed from the outside it looks very much like two people connected by a bond that is ever-stronger, never satisfied with the ho-hum and indeed calls for more. It is a constant reminder that things are always looking up as long as it exists.

Practically it is two working together, enjoying each other even when they do not enjoy the life-situation at the moment.

Sizzle rocks!

There is truth in this but it’s also a lie. The truth is that when not seen we often don’t consciously think about it. BUT it is still in our mind. I am not talking about “in our mind” as in a “storage” context. I mean “in our mind” as in actively turning it over. I firmly believe that just because I am not aware I am thinking about something does not mean I am not thinking about something.

Triggers, a common term in many circles these days, are one proof case for my point. As some know a trigger is an event that evokes a reaction (see this blogs articles on triggers) that is not in accordance with the situation at hand. On other words the brain is reacting based upon the memories evoked. Out of sight, out of mind? Not at all. The trigger instantly brings us to the point of reacting to the here and now as if it were one more in a long string of injustices, when in fact it is completely unrelated. AND we are often not even aware of why our reaction is more severe than is called for.

Unless it’s all brought out into the open IT WILL fester, IT WILL dictate, IT WILL cause bitterness, IT WILL cause anger, IT WILL cause self-loathing. Bringing something into sight is like a doctor at the hospital. She opens the wound, scrubs the wound. Does it go away? No. Does it hurt? Yes.

So then what good is it? Yes. The healing comes with time. Leaving the wound untreated may seem like the best thing to a child but any adult knows that unless the child goes through the pain of exposing and cleansing the wound there is no assurance that it will be able to heal properly – and may cause much more serious damage.

So, now I get to my instigator for this post. A relationship. The most intimate of relationships, marriage. The unfortunate thing in life is that two people will injure one another. It’s inevitable in this fallen world. Eventually, if left untreated for long enough things begin to fester. We have seen and heard about marriages that reach their breaking point and culminate in serious atrocities committed against one another. Sometimes it looks like aggression, and for some it looks like silence.

I believe I’ve said it before in this blog – but for sure I have said it before in many places at many times. Whether a couple is “fighting” or running to their separate rooms to avoid the fight – it’s all the same. Both are emotionally injurious to the relationship. In both cases the most basic of human needs, to be loved, is withheld. We’d all look in horror if a newborn were left in a room, fed at regular intervals but had no other contact with their parents. Why do couples who go to their corners somehow think they are better than those that fight? It is abuse in another form. Every human being needs love and attention.

So what keeps us from doing this. Well to be quite simple… and honest, it’s you.

“If only you , I could fill your need.” It’s your fault, sure I am not perfect BUT you’re way less perfect.”

Isn’t that the approach we often have in relationships? Maybe it gets so bad that a friend steps in to help mediate (or we take it to a professional). Most people will often admit they aren’t perfect (to throw us off the scent) and then direct our attention to the matter at hand. Admit it, that bone of “I’m not perfect” is a masked way of saying “Hey, I’m exposing myself so you can see I am NOT the problem”.

So then what happens when we may be exposed or at least our facade may have a crack in it? You know the answer, if I can’t deflect – I’ll do what it takes to hide who I really am. After all, “you need to understand the PROBLEM is not me”.

I recall attending marriage counseling years ago thinking “today has been a tough day at work, tough things happened recently in the relationship – I wonder if I’ll be perceived wrongly. Sure, I’ve got issues but you’ve just GOT to see THE PROBLEM!”

My instinct is self-preservation. Avoiding would give me time to be the rational being I am. After all the ugly is not my norm. Everything we do is about about making sure the big I is presented in the best light. I always ensuring I have justification for the wrongs I have committed. Left without check I will always take care of me.

Christ said it best, “Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own? ” Matthew 7:3

Using the Wayback Machine I can see the Google portal as it was nearly 14 years ago and I can visit may employer’s website of 16 years ago. But way more cool, over the top and stupendous I can visit the first website I ever designed!

The url was www.geomarket.com and it was my site for a short-lived startup company in web design.

Never designed another website. Maybe this is why.

Regardless of what anyone thinks, I am kind of impressed. I know I lack a design eye and with this handicap I am very pleased with the look of the site. This was my web site as of June 23, 1997.

Nostalgia, I love it.

So why did I tell you all that?

Easy answer, because our vacation rental on Jade Lake in the Big Lake community is more popular than ever this year. The location is secluded yet close to “civilization”. Big Lake hosts several local businesses like a grocery store, video rental, thrift stores, restaurants and even a local airstrip.

Big Lake, Alaska is an easy drive from Anchorage north through Wasilla and it’s well worth the drive to this popular spot of fishing, water sports, boating or just relaxing.

When you get a chance stop by our web site at AlaskanChalet.com (http://www.alaskanchalet.com/) and check out the write-up of some of the activities we have enjoyed in the area over the years.

Fast forward 35 years.

• agitated: “to disturb or excite emotionally; arouse; perturb“
• emotional: “actuated, effected, or determined by feeling rather than reason“
• state: “condition or mode of being“

siz·zle (szl)

• The unrest is largely based upon wanting something that one does not currently have possession of.  It is a state that is characterized as being “worked up and no where to go”, pent up energy.

• The anticipation is based upon what has been and what is to be.  It is that which feeds the reward receptors in the brain.

• Sizzle in a marriage motivates one to increase the level of pleasure by generating the same level of excitement in the spouse.  This will be reciprocated, thus increasing the desire for that which has not yet been gained.  In effect it will motivate toward doing that which will cause greater feelings of good.