There is a basic skill that I am very light on which would help my career. My initial response to this discovery was to check out a course at the local community college. Yes, it’s available – but it has a prerequisite course and this can sometimes be sticky to waive. Also, the one course would be good and thorough but then I’m looking at 4 months before I can use the skills.

Step in the Internet. Only a few minutes later I found an online course for FREE that will significantly enhance my skills. To be sure, it likely will not give me the depth I would get with a classroom course but it’s an excellent intermediary to bridge the gap and allow me to use the new skills in short order with an option for more in-depth training at a later date.

I love the Internet when I’m not busy hating how much time I waste on it filling my mind with interesting trivia about everything.

Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing.
Proverbs 27:14 – English Standard Version (ESV)

I know what another wants. When I am blind to how I go against this or too self-centered to care I am being rude. To not be rude is to be attentive to another’s feelings.

*based on The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick

How precious to me are your thoughts… How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
Psalms 139:17-18 – English Standard Version (ESV)

Love requires thoughtfulness – on both sides – the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness.

Thoughtfulness can mean vastly different things to a man than it does for a woman. This requires thinking, understanding and planning, it doesn’t just happen.

*based on The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Romans 12:10 – English Standard Version (ESV)

I can’t be acting out of love and selfishness at the same time.

I am having a hard time grasping what I do that does not have at its core an inkling of getting something for me. Sure I desire to be happy, don’t we all? But can I do something for someone in which ME doesn’t somehow come in to play? I mean, can I act unselfishly and simply let the chips fall where they will when it comes to receiving something in return?

That’s a pretty high calling.

*based on The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick

It was interesting to compare customer reviews of the book The Love Dare on Amazon.com. 85% of the reviews give the highest possible rating. 7% rate the book as mediocre, or worse.

Whether it’s voting or buying a book, I prefer to base my information upon the dissenters. Understanding the arguments posed by those against something yields valuable information. If the dissenter(s) voices a logical argument I like to reason it out myself to see if I am in agreement and if so, how much am I in agreement. Should those opposed to something rant incoherently, it’s seems to me there is not much reason to oppose it. Of course I give a stronger weight to an opinion if it is representative of a larger group since it is likely a collaborative effort of the “best” argument. At Amazon all are individual opinions so I have to give each opinion less weight but it’s still worthy of thought.

I feel compelled to soapbox on one of the comments about the books’ mediocrity. Here is an excerpt:

[...] I am not knocking the authors or the intent, but I can’t give this book 5 stars because instead of helping my marriage it’s making me feel even less loved.

[...]

If you are a patient, caring, giving, loving spouse who bends over backwards for a mate who does not return the favor, this book is likely to cause more resentful feelings between you and your spouse. (To which the book reminds you, Love is not Selfish).

[...]
Comment entitled “Not for every marriage” – October 23, 2008

This person has nailed marriage on the head. It’s about setting self aside. In this case it’s the wife but it can and has been the husband as well. It IS NOT about what I get out of it. Sure, I ALL DESIRE to be filled up and overflowing with a blissful, harmonious marriage. I feel it should be easier than it is. And it is for some – but for most it is a struggle. There are no promises. No guarantees that if I do it all right (which none of us can) my soul will be filled by my spouse.

However, there is a good chance that the spouse may respond in kind. I say this because we all know that when we feel loved it’s easier to love in return. Not that it should be that way, it just is.

Regardless of this, to genuinely love, means to love without any motive of something in return. Yes, this is nearly impossible – the only hope is turn to Him to fill those deepest of needs; Him who can meet any need in any circumstance. When the trials get tough and perseverance is waning, it’s onto my knees I must go.

So, as the author of this review says, it can be a completely draining experience. In the end I can never truly change someone else, nor should I expect I can. The only person I will ever answer for is myself, so why would I expect I can have a say in their actions when I won’t answer for those same actions. Were my actions self-serving or were they truly others-serving.

The whole of God’s revelation to man was summed up by Jesus as “love the Lord your God with all your heart … and love your neighbor as yourself.” An impossible task without His divine assistance.

Thank you for your review and perspective! It’s your thoughts I need to dive into and understand – on a very personal level – instead of putting on the “face” that all is well in the world. That’s the point to my very existence.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32 – English Standard Version (ESV)

You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness. Love cannot exist without the component of kindness.

Kindness should be my way of life.

*based on The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2 – English Standard Version (ESV)

Anger is usually caused when a strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. Responding to an offence in anger is serving self. Responding to an offence in patience is serving another.

My little world needs more serving one another.

*based on The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick

On the surface this sounds like you basic rhetorical question, but as I think about why, the answer is more deeply rooted in the very nature of man.

What is it that causes us to exclude? Why?

Why is it that Google is such a useful tool to find all variety of information BUT when I need to access that same information a few weeks later I spend hours and hours, then out of sheer luck I may stumble across it?

I am in New York City on business for a major trade show. This is the first time I have ever been to a show of this magnitude. Seeing booths arrive in crates larger than my two room tent the family camps in is quite a site. The appearance of total chaos and pandemonium was all about as I scurried to and fro dodging forklifts and turning cranes. Each time I went to my employers booth I had to select another route as the previous one was blocked to a new shipment of display materials. Sure enough by late this afternoon it looked as if tomorrow morn would actually see a trade show with an overwhelmingly impressive public face. Shipping crates were moving to storage and our booth actually began to look like something to visit.

My employer, like so many others today, sent a skeleton crew to set up the essentials of the booth. Union workers of various ilks had already set up the booth, carpeting, electrical and various asundry items. Our teams mission was to add the electronics gizmos that give our software life. The team was to be “me.” That’s it. The end. For weeks our IT personnel kept telling upper level management that at least two others would be required. Finally in the 11th hour one other soul was added to this advance team (ps: for both of this this was out of the realm of our normal duties but fortunately within our skillset). We ran like starving rats trying to navigate a maze all day. We really needed another body but our two were just enough. There is no way this poor, unsuspecting soul would have ever been able to tackle what was tackled this day.

I wish I could say it’s time to take it easy for the next two days until the tear down, but alas, me and my compatriot are now going to be doing tasks for 9½ hours each day that are closer to our job descriptions. We get to do demonstrations for our sales personnel who have almost no product knowledge. I’m still scratching my head at that one. A salesman that has only a vague knowledge of what they’re selling, wish I could get a job that required only a vague knowledge of what I must do, then have someone else do it.

I see that there’s a lot more to sales than meets the eye.