Off to Mexico City this morning after several days of unsuccessfully trying to resolve technical issues at customer installation. The entire trip was put together in 2 hours on Saturday after a 3½ hour support call that was going nowhere.

This is not my first time in a country where I don’t know the language, but it is my first time in Mexico and it appears that I may be on my own a lot. Hopefully not. I will be with a business partner some of the time and his English is pretty good.

The part that makes me apprehensive is all the advice, only take cabs of this company, don’t go out after dark…. on and on. I could and would have been worried on a day gone by but it is what it is. Time to focus on trusting that my Lord knows all and that’s enough.

On another subject, I never did know what “Yo, quiero Taco Bell” meant.

In discussions with a dear brother last nice the thought latched onto me that I cannot be used of God unless I obey Him. My love for Him is tied to my obedience. The conversation went much deeper than that, but that is the thought that provoked my thinking even into my waking hours this morning.

My deepest desire is to be used of God in whatever capacity He desires. That’s a tall order for a strong willed, independent person like me. To say I want to bend my will wherever another would desire is pretty big – and I have A LOT of growth there. But nevertheless, it is my desire.

The times in my life of hands-down-greatest-joy-and-blessing have been such times as these. To be moved by God, wholly trusting, wholly in love with Him is my greatest aspiration. Yes, I (me) get in the way of that. Yes, that is my struggle with my maker – letting him have and keep the reins.

*In case any of you theologically minded are wondering about my beliefs. God is sovereign over all affairs of this earth or otherwise. He can and has used those that are adamantly opposed to His work. My reference to being used of God in the heading for this post refers to the blessings of obediently following Him.

What makes something funny? What is it that causes us to laugh? Pent up expectation? The ridiculous truth in everyday events? Ideas that merge to form a new meaning?

I recently read an article about one man’s pursuit of humor and his idea of changing from the accepted norm of a “punch line” to no punch line. He struggled for many years to perfect his technique and be accepted within the community. Today he is considered to be a major comedian.

A few weeks ago I decided that I would look into this more as a hobby. There is a particular type of humor that I think I can execute well – with practice. Now to create a routine and perfect it.

Have you noticed that there seems to be something in our culture today that requires people to have some kind of diagnosis for why they are the way they are?

– My mind races and I have a hard time focusing on one thing.
– My joints ache and I am constantly in a state of fatigue.
– I drink too much because I was too controlled growing up.
– I’m into risky behavior because I’m seeking someone who cares about me.

What’s wrong with me? If only I knew what it was called or what caused it I’d somehow feel much better. Why does our society need a label for what we’re dealing with? Why not simply pursue the solution?

If our body cannot tolerate years and years of artificial this or artificial that – well, then stop it. Why would I want to pill that masks the symptoms but leaves the underlying problem? That would be like covering my decaying house with a fresh coat of paint. The house is only made prettier, not more solid. The “fix my life” pill seems to be the goal for physical problems. But for emotional ones the route seems to be fault finding with someone in our past.

Personally, I believe there is a lot of room for introspection, but only for the purpose of understanding and correcting today’s actions. To spend too much time in the past keeps us from living in the present. True, many have been harmed in many ways either directly or indirectly, but to somehow relentlessly pursue some kind of apology has only limited benefit.

Yes, it would be great if every breech in relationship were mended and both parties asked for and received forgiveness. But, hey, that’s not life. People are people, some are gracious, some are not. Some hold a record or wrongs, some do not. To desire repaired relationships is a worthy pursuit – to not let go of a grievance until the other party apologizes is nothing but selfish and putting self-interest first. It’s an entitlement mentality.

Why does the world owe us? Why do my parents owe me? Why does my second grade teacher owe me? Fact, they messed up. Fact, I will mess up too. It’s not about looking elsewhere to set to world straight. It’s about looking at the one person we have full control over.

Why is everything about us? Why is it always “what you did to me” and not “what was my part?”

How’s this for an Independence Day line up of events?

• BBQ and dancing in the streets
• Civil War battle and lifestyle reenactments with full dress, weapons and actually living in the field
• Pops concert in the park
• Per-fireworks live music in the evening
• Civil War dance with lessons – period dress optional
• Spectacular fireworks
• Fireman’s pancake breakfast
• Old fashioned day in the park with 2 different bands, refreshments, attractions
• Town parade with over 50 entrants

All this with plenty of hospitality! 3 filled days of activities, as if hiking, biking, swimming, fishing, exploring, touring mining old mining operations and just checking out the towns weren’t enough.

We spent three nights in a rustic cabin. Or should I say very rustic. It had charm. Our kids called it the “Chuckie” cabin – named after horror movie Chuckie and subsequent sequels. Not exactly my take, but they were not all too excited teens when it came to the accommodations. Likely we’d stay at the same place again. It kind of grows on you, is remote but only 5 miles from town, near the Feather River and allows pets.

If you are at all inclined to vacation in the northern California Sierras, the Graeagle/Blairdens area is most highly recommended.

Ever had that nagging feeling that you’re not good enough, that you can do it, that somehow you’d be found out to be a fake? Sometimes I get those feelings of inadequacy, of somehow not measuring up. This morning as I listened to a CD I was given by a dear brother – something I have done almost daily for the last few months since he gave it to me – the full depth and meaning of one of the tracks hit me full between the eyes.

The particular stanza was:

But the giant’s calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
“Boy you’ll never win, you’ll never win.”

The reference is to David fighting Goliath. Goliath, a mighty giant and seasoned warrior, over 9 feet tall, is laughing and taunting a young sheltered David. Another stanza talks of David being surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor wishing they’d have had the strength to stand. These warriors are in the army of David’s Israel. The giant taunts, David is young and inexperienced in battle, Israel’s army is quaking in their boots. David listens to the voice of truth, not all the voices around him.

The Voice of Truth is the only place in which to place his confidence.

I have heard this song innumerable times over the last few years. Finally I hear the words, finally I hear the Voice of Truth.

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he’s holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
“Boy, you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
“Boy you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don’t seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
‘Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are
The Voice of Truth – Casting Crowns