Life is growing sweeter each day. Intimacy is deeper. Trust is deeper.

Cause?

Obedience and focus outward versus inward.

Up until last week I was beginning to feel more and more in a state of constant anxiety. The more I tried to pin down the source the further I felt from the answer. There’s nothing like sickness to remove all those cares and worries that are so important each and every day.

Last week I came down with the flu for several days, I was just well enough to continue in the certification class I am enrolled in for work. But once the day was done, so was I. Nothing mattered except rest. Coming out of that I could feel the beginnings of anxiety returning as I tried to remember the lesson of the “sick week.” The lesson that it’s not all as important as it might seem.

Consequently this week I am taking a very laid back approach to work. Yes, I want to do my best. Yes, I want to produce in abundance. But I want to draw the line between personal and professional life more distinctly to avoid returning to where I did not like being.

The effects are not altogether past. I still feel on the edge; like something could put me in the state of anxiety very easily – so I am treading lightly, ever so carefully feeling my way down this path.

Good news. I am not alone in this journey. I am absolutely convinced that God is showing me some new things about myself and about life in general. Through His grace I became sick with the flu and could put life into perspective. My trust is only well placed as long as it is in Him.

Trust one step at a time. Trust that He prepare that next step.

Read the following portion of Psalm 81

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. “But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.
Psalms 81:10-12 – New International Version (NIV)

What had God already done for Israel?
What did God promise to His people?
How did the people respond?
What did God do?

Now read:

“If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes!
Psalms 81:13-14 – New International Version (NIV)

What could have been true of Israel?

Any application for me today?

Business required that I travel to Nashville on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. I was at the airport bright and early for my 6:15am flight Monday morning. Unable to sleep more than 3 hours Monday night out with business partners for dinner until 10:30 Tuesday evening, then back to the room for about an hours work. Wednesday saw my leaving Nashville on the 6:35pm flight across country and back home by 11:30pm Wednesday night. This morning I had so much work to get to that I was up at my regular time ready to head into the office.

I forced myself to stay home for an extra 1 1/2 hours and took it easy before heading in for a busy day.

That’s the facts of the “mission.” Reality is that it was hard on me. Anxiousness ruled my homecoming because of impending work to be done this week and all the “next” weeks. It was a go, Go, GO kind of week. I am not built for it. Some people thrive not me, I shrink away. My dear wife reminded me last night to not worry about tomorrow since today has enough troubles of its own. Good advice.

Today started out and went well. This will take some management to keep life balanced. I just don’t live to work like some guys. I work to live and that’s it. My heart is at home with family and friends.

The cartoon says it all…

I just put the finishing touches on the last of four PowerPoint presentations I need to give this coming week.

The PowerPoint slides are the easy and somewhat fun part. I am most concerned about the flow as I give the presentations since my words don’t flow naturally. The thoughts are there but it’s all those transitional words and phrases that make something coherent.

Much of what I will do will be repeated presentation after presentation, so that should give me the opportunity for improvement. Hopefully those first few 2 hour presentations will not be over in 10 minutes! That’s happens with I am not rehearsed.

Here’s what I feel like.

Now why can’t I have this much fun?