Why is it that those close to you can tell you something for years and years and somehow you won’t hear it, but then a disinterested party suggests the same thing and it’s like you finally hear it for the first time. You get it.

A strange phenomenon indeed. Maybe at some unconscious level we feel like they are speaking out of some other motivation therefore it invalidates what they’re saying. Afterall, if this person close to us has something to gain by our change in behavior isn’t it automatically suspect?

Some important lessons can be learned by listening to all feedback and taking what fits and leaving the rest.

This topic was spawned by a blog posting at the Hearts~Changing blog.

I have always felt on the outside. In some ways I have been – I am really not interested in many things that guys get consumed with. My dissimilar interests have an natural tendency to exclude me but it’s always been more than that. I have always “known” that if my interests were the same somehow there’d still be a gap, I’d still be ‘outside’. For me “no one understands me” means that no matter how open I am there’s always a sense of loneliness, a sense of being alone. It’s as if no matter how transparent I am people look at me through the eyes of Alice looking at the Cheshire cat, “… a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!”

As I have pondered this over the years I have tried to ignore the feelings that arise, but even that made me feel more alone, more isolated from humanity.

My deepest desire is to be transparent with the express purpose of being understood for who I am. To be known.

It is true that my King has redeemed me and elevated me to the status of Beloved Son. It is true that He knows my heart better than I can hope to know it myself. Yet there is a sense that I am not worthy, that I really don’t matter, that if someone would just try to understand me they would find a soul desperately reaching out to be known.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) web site discusses Emerging Infectious Diseases: Antibacterial Household Products: Cause for Concern. The leading quote says it all:

The recent entry of products containing antibacterial agents into healthy households has escalated from a few dozen products in the mid-1990s to more than 700 today. Antibacterial products were developed and have been successfully used to prevent transmission of disease-causing microorganisms among patients, particularly in hospitals. They are now being added to products used in healthy households, even though an added health benefit has not been demonstrated. Scientists are concerned that the antibacterial agents will select bacteria resistant to them and cross-resistant to antibiotics. Moreover, if they alter a person’s microflora, they may negatively affect the normal maturation of the T helper cell response of the immune system to commensal flora antigens; this change could lead to a greater chance of allergies in children. As with antibiotics, prudent use of these products is urged. Their designated purpose is to protect vulnerable patients.

Did you catch that? Not only have the health benefits not been demonstrated BUT they may negatively impact the response of the immune system.

I not trying to be an alarmist, but when you see hand wipes near the carts at the grocery store and a high percentage of products in the same market that also contain antibacterial agents it has to make you wonder. Will the little bottle of antibacterial hand wash in my car help me or hurt me? As a nation we’re so consumed with ‘dirt’ and germs, might we head the way of the Native American people and see 90% of our population decimated by disease and germs within a century?

It happened once, it can happen again.

How do you get outside yourself to see things objectively? Even though logic may say “It’s not about me,” feelings make it all about me.

A domestic incident occurred this past weekend that drove this point home. Something happened, I assumed, she did, I did. You know the story. As I sped off to run my errand, I discovered that “it” never even happened. I called back home, ate crow, gave a quick apology and said the rest would be done proper when I got home. I discovered that she thought (not what I thought), felt bad, felt she owed me – but was a little confused about why I would.

As we talked we had a hearty laugh. What I thought, never happened. What she thought was wrong. The subject of each of our thoughts was completely different, we were each thinking about unrelated events that happened to occur within minutes of each other.

The only thing was was clearer than this post is that the mind can conjure up an event that never happened, make it real and cause actions based upon said delusion.

The entire episode from inception to illation lasted less than 45 minutes, most of which was used in useless self-posturing.

I appreciate the approach of my history professor in not emphasizing the regurgitation of the details of American history but instead asking us to think about what it means, how it affected the people of the time and how it shapes the world as we see it today.

Truth is we tend to think of our generation as being the first to wrestle with various problems that have their roots in generations gone by. We are not aware of the impact of these same issues on our forefathers. I like the approach.

Personally, it’s going to require a lot more of me to think in terms of impact instead of simply a set of facts. Stretching is good.

It’s been so long since my last post I feel compelled to post something. Actually there are many things that come to mind at this moment but I’ll stick to the one at the forefront as it will take less time to articulate.

Let’s talk about history. Good old fashioned “Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492″ kind of history.

I have observed that history is written by those in power. This phenomenon has been observed after wars in that the victor writes history. It is the victor that writes history to reflect their “rightness.” When the war goes the other way, right shifts sides. In many ways this almost seems natural. If you were the victor how would you explain the war? When you get into a conflict with your neighbor what history do you tell, who was right?

So what about history in general. How are we to look at the European colonial expansion during the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries? Should we look at them as evil aggressors or as the bringers of all the good that exists today? What should we do with all the people whose roles were relatively minor, should we emphasize them due to their relative obscurity? Should the servant be lauded for their role in the household over the master of the house?

Many years ago America’s history was a history of great men, today’s high schools teach a history of those that were not in power? Is there a difference or is it all spin to move toward a greater agenda?

Hopefully, in the coming weeks I will revisit this topic which seems so relevant since our history is being rewritten before our eyes.

New Jersey is the second state to jump on the bandwagon (albeit a small wagon as this time) to reform the electoral college by requiring it’s electors vote in accordance with the states popular vote.

That’s not especially interesting but a U.S. senators comments were interesting.

Senate Minority Leader Leonard Lance, R-Hunterdon, said if the states want to change the Electoral College, it “should be done in the appropriate manner” by amending the Constitution.

I am confused, last time I read the constitution (and I have) the twelfth amendment does not specify how each state assigns electors, it just specifies that each state have them and how many. The implicit interpretation is that each state can make that determination within its own constitution. It can be winner-take-all, assigned-by-legislature, split-by-popular-vote, or whatever.

Maybe there should be a test prior assuming a political position to ensure you know which constitution you’re swearing to protect and defend.

I am looking at a year that holds a lot of promise and change. I am excited about the opportunities and the learning that is on the horizon. As with all things good, challenges are part of the process. Bring’em on!