What is giving 100%? Is it a sign of a healthy relationship or an unhealthy one?

First: Giving 100% – What I define as giving 100% has the connotation of giving selflessly, or more realistically, giving as selflessly as humanly possible. It has been stated in many ways over the years by the old adage “Do unto others…” This sums up what I am talking about. It’s giving and expecting nothing in return. This is an attribute we all admire in others. We applaud the person that serves the homeless tirelessly and the spouse that cares for the incapacitated mate. The funny thing is that when it applies to me, I’m not so strongly in favor of it. I mean after all if I give and give and give and get nothing in return aren’t I being taken advantage of? How fair is that?

Second: Healthy, yes or no? – The answer to this all depends on the first point. What is my motivation in the first place? Am I trying to appease or please? Am I trying to earn favor and therefore receive something in return? I’ll step out on a limb and say that it’s never unhealthy to give selflessly but, to give expecting something, anything, whether tangible or intangible is unhealthy for the relationship. Unhealthy because if the expectations of my secret motives are not met the natural tendency is to take back something.

So what am I to do in a relationship? The answer is simple but the most difficult of all. I am to give as selflessly as possible. My giving should never be to appease another, it must always be from my love. It must strive to expect nothing in return and thus be true giving. The goal must be to give as much as I can give. This level of love can only be sustainable through the strength that only God can provide.