In this series I will wanderingly explore the concepts behind what defines the quality of a marriage.  How can a marriage be objectively evaluated? And even more importantly what can be done to grow it toward excellence?

What is Sizzle?
I have previously discussed “sizzle” in a marriage.  More accurately, I threw out a teaser stating that marriage sizzle is a barometer for the quality of a marriage.
Let’s explore what I mean by sizzle.  To do this I’ll begin with a few dictionary definitions.
Sizzle: “to be in an agitated emotional state
    • agitated: “to disturb or excite emotionally; arouse; perturb
    • emotional: “actuated, effected, or determined by feeling rather than reason
    • state: “condition or mode of being
    Dave’s abridged definition:
    siz·zle (szl)
    an internal condition in which one is motivated at an emotional level by a constant state of unrest due to anticipation of what has yet to happen

    Why the unrest?
    • The unrest is largely based upon wanting something that one does not currently have possession of.  It is a state that is characterized as being “worked up and no where to go”, pent up energy.
    What is anticipated?
    • The anticipation is based upon what has been and what is to be.  It is that which feeds the reward receptors in the brain.
    So what does sizzle motivate one toward?
    • Sizzle in a marriage motivates one to increase the level of pleasure by generating the same level of excitement in the spouse.  This will be reciprocated, thus increasing the desire for that which has not yet been gained.  In effect it will motivate toward doing that which will cause greater feelings of good.
    In short, sizzle will have two people tripped over one another in order to please the other.  The more I please my spouse, the more I am pleased.

    Sizzle can only be said with sizzZ zzle!
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